Turkey Day

Thanksgiving 2012.

We went to the Maki's for Thanksgiving dinner. It's an annual thing at their house, and it's our first time.
Normally, in the past 10 years or so, it's just the other six families.
I think we're new recruits.

I felt included.

Dinner was a feast.
Sweet potatoes, ham, turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, you name it. 

And that was just the kids' table. 

After prayers and everything, we started getting our food.

Plates were being passed and people were talking all at the same time. 

"Could you get me some mashed potatoes?"

"Put some cranberry sauce on my plate, please."

"Yes, more gravy. That's great."

"Could you pass me some green bean casserole? Thanks."

It was chaotic. But in a sense, it was one of the most heartwarming moments of my life.

We felt like one giant family. And that's what Thanksgiving is about, isn't it?

Opened

When you put yourself out there, you get so much more back.

Attached

Crazy.

It's crazy how they're so alike.

It's crazy how I got close to both of them through texting/IMing. 

It's crazy how they're both Juniors when I first get close to them.

It's crazy how they're both chubby and awkward but have a good heart.

It's crazy how they both struggle with school and laziness.

It's crazy how I got so attached to them so quick.

It's crazy how they both became my best friend.

But I'm scared now.

Because I know I can get really emotionally attached to him. And then I'll get scared like last time and pull away.

I don't want to be attached to him.

Oh, and I hate how they both sometimes change how they act when they're around me. I loved their usual self. It gets so awkward sometimes.

Now, I wish I never told him that he was my best friend. I miss the way things used to be. How our conversations were.

It's so weird. So weird.

He's always so nice now it's awkward. I miss our teasing and banters and just making fun of each other. It was so carefree and simple and fun.

He and him both. They say things in texts that I can't see them saying in person. And I hate that.

I can't back away now, though. I don't think he's really had any good friends.

Ugh, I don't know.

I miss the way things use to be.